Dear TBZ Community:
This week’s Torah portion, Parshat Chayei Sarah, continues the story of Abraham and Isaac after the death of Sarah, with details about finding a wife for Isaac. Towards the end of the parasha, we learn that Abraham got remarried:
וַיֹּ֧סֶף אַבְרָהָ֛ם וַיִּקַּ֥ח אִשָּׁ֖ה וּשְׁמָ֥הּ קְטוּרָֽה
Abraham took another wife, whose name was Keturah.
Rashi, a medieval commentator, relying on midrash (biblical exegesis and stories), tells us that Keturah was actually Hagar: Sarah’s servant and the mother of Abraham’s son Ishmael, who we last saw weeping in the desert after being expelled from Abraham’s household at Sarah’s insistence (Bereshit Chapter 21). The midrash makes a pun out of her name, saying that she was known as Keturah because her deeds were as beautiful as ketoret – the incense used in the Temple service.
Let me emphasize: the last time we saw Hagar, Abraham had banished her into the desert where she and her son would have died without God’s intervention. And the next time we meet her in the text, according to this rabbinic interpretation, she and Abraham are getting married! It seems that the rabbis imagine that she led a beautiful and pious life in the interim: an Egyptian servant seems to become a model of admirable living, without becoming embittered or cruel, after her harsh experiences at the hands of Abraham and Sarah.
We’re supposed to learn about the depth of Hagar’s ability to forgive Abraham, and perhaps also of Abraham’s repentance for sending her away. For without deep t’shuvah (repentance) and forgiveness, how could the rabbis imagine that such a broken relationship could ever achieve reconciliation?
So not only do the ancient rabbis take the story of Abraham’s late-life marriage and turn it into a story of tremendous personal transformation – from expulsion to reconciliation, from shame to repentance and repair – but they do so by offering us Hagar as a model of extraordinary personal qualities. In this reading, the Egyptian Hagar becomes an exemplar of forgiveness and patience. (part of this teaching is inspired in a D’var Torah written by Rabbi Neal Joel Loevinger)
The parasha ends with the burial of Abraham, to which both Isaac and Ishamel are present.
וַיִּגְוַע וַיָּמׇת אַבְרָהָם בְּשֵׂיבָה טוֹבָה זָקֵן וְשָׂבֵעַ וַיֵּאָסֶף אֶל־עַמָּיו
And Abraham breathed his last, dying at a good ripe age, old and contented; and he was gathered to his kin.
וַיִּקְבְּרוּ אֹתוֹ יִצְחָק וְיִשְׁמָעֵאל בָּנָיו אֶל־מְעָרַת הַמַּכְפֵּלָה אֶל־שְׂדֵה עֶפְרֹן בֶּן־צֹחַר הַחִתִּי אֲשֶׁר עַל־פְּנֵי מַמְרֵא
His sons Isaac and Ishmael buried him in the cave of Machpelah, in the field of Ephron son of Zohar the Hittite, facing Mamre
I am always moved when I read these verses, and read them as parallel to when, later on, Isaac dies and Jacob and Esau come together to bury their father in Bereshit (Genesis) 35:29. We are told a simple but deep story – people are complicated, their relationships are complicated, hearts are broken, people do terrible things – and we can imagine and hope that people can come together, maybe in true reconciliation or maybe just to stand quietly while mourning a loved one.
I believe this teaching can speak to many of us in our own lives and can also speak to our collective story as the Jewish people. (Please read below some thoughts/resources I offer regarding response to antisemitism.)
May these teachings invite us to embrace the emunah (trust) that reconciliation is possible, even in the places and times that we most hurt.
May this Shabbat bring renewal and blessings to all of you and your loved ones.
May we find strength, courage, and patience, and open our hearts with generosity.
May all those who are ill find healing. And may we have a joyful, sweet, and peaceful Shabbat.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rav Claudia
I know many of us are wondering how to respond to antisemitism. There can be confusion and hurt and different opinions on what makes a comment antisemitic and what doesn’t. I am not going to comment directly on this, but what I want to offer is some words from a booklet put out by T’ruah, the rabbinic call for Human Rights, “A Very Brief Guide to Antisemitism” You can download the guide for free.
Guidelines for Responding to Antisemitism
Antisemitic tropes—like all stereotypes—have a deep and ingrained history. As with every form of prejudice, antisemitism can appear in a wide range of forms, from offhand remarks to genocide, and can be interpersonal or structural. Our response should be proportionate and appropriate to the context, with the goal of educating and building relationships when possible.
Antisemitism and charges of antisemitism raise intense emotion that we ignore at our own peril. Leaders should tend to the emotional needs of affected Jews, as well as of non-Jewish communal partners, as one component of an overall response.
Mistakes happen. Non-Jewish allies may not understand that a casual comment is actually rooted in antisemitism. Apologies and restorative conversations can lead to repaired, even strengthened, relationships.
Mutually accountable relationships are crucial to situating the fight against antisemitism within the fight against all oppression. It takes time to build relationships, so connections should be formed before there is a crisis.
In some instances, there may be legal recourse in response to discrimination or hate-speech. Approach this option strategically and with a clear head, having considered the prior three recommendations.
Activist April Rosenblum chronicles how Jews in progressive spaces often shy away from calling out antisemitism, minimizing the problem or not wanting to draw attention away from perceived weightier issues. This is harmful to our movements in the long run because all work for justice is harmed when antisemitism is used to distract us from the economic systems that are the real source of injustice.
Conclusion:
Like all forms of oppression, antisemitism keeps structures of power in place. Fighting antisemitism must be part of our struggle for freedom and justice for all people. That means always responding to antisemitism in a way that builds bridges between the Jewish community and other communities, rather than simply retreating to a protective stance—or worse, giving up free speech in exchange for perceived safety. That also means pushing our movements for justice to take up the fight against antisemitism as connected with other struggles.
We are planning to have a session(s) to learn and discuss this resource this winter/spring as a community. Stay tuned for details.