Dear TBZ Community,
In Pirkei Avot (Ethics of our Ancestors) we learn:
אֵיזֶהוּ עָשִׁיר, הַשָּׂמֵחַ בְּחֶלְקוֹ
Who is rich? One who rejoices in their lot
This teaching, albeit simple, is something that is probably hard for many of us to embody. Can I rejoice with the blessing I have in my life and not constantly want more, “need” more? Must I think that the more I have, the richer, the better, the more successful I am?
This week’s parasha (Torah portion), Beha’alotcha, includes several stories about the people complaining for more in the desert:
וְהָאסַפְסֻף אֲשֶׁר בְּקִרְבּוֹ הִתְאַוּוּ תַּאֲוָה וַיָּשֻׁבוּ וַיִּבְכּוּ גַּם בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל וַיֹּאמְרוּ מִי יַאֲכִלֵנוּ בָּשָׂר. זָכַרְנוּ אֶת־הַדָּגָה אֲשֶׁר־נֹאכַל בְּמִצְרַיִם חִנָּם אֵת הַקִּשֻּׁאִים וְאֵת הָאֲבַטִּחִים וְאֶת־הֶחָצִיר וְאֶת־הַבְּצָלִים וְאֶת־הַשּׁוּמִים. וְעַתָּה נַפְשֵׁנוּ יְבֵשָׁה אֵין כֹּל בִּלְתִּי אֶל־הַמָּן עֵינֵינוּ
The riffraff in their midst felt a gluttonous craving; and then the Israelites wept and said, “If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish that we used to eat free in Egypt, the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic. Now our gullets are shriveled. There is nothing at all! Nothing but this manna to look to!” (Numbers 11:4-6)
The people complain there is not enough, it is not good enough. In the context of their story we can understand this: They are afraid, they left Egypt and slavery, that place where they were oppressed, for something better, for salvation, but the journey to salvation is long and not straightforward. Their capacity to be joyful and grateful for the blessings they have takes time, takes practice, takes journeying through the desert.
Now, the people of Israel are not the only ones to complain, Moshe’s response is also one of complaining:
וַיִּשְׁמַע מֹשֶׁה אֶת־הָעָם בֹּכֶה לְמִשְׁפְּחֹתָיו אִישׁ לְפֶתַח אהֳלוֹ וַיִּחַר־אַף יְהֹוָה מְאֹד וּבְעֵינֵי מֹשֶׁה רָע
וַיֹּאמֶר מֹשֶׁה אֶל־יְהֹוָה לָמָה הֲרֵעֹתָ לְעַבְדֶּךָ וְלָמָּה לֹא־מָצָתִי חֵן בְּעֵינֶיךָ לָשׂוּם אֶת־מַשָּׂא כָּל־הָעָם הַזֶּה עָלָי
Moses heard the people weeping, every clan apart, at the entrance of each tent. Adonai was very angry, and Moses was distressed. And Moses said to Adonai, “Why have You dealt ill with Your servant, and why have I not enjoyed Your favor, that You have laid the burden of all these people upon me? (Numbers 11:10-11)
Moshe seems to respond from a place of exhaustion or perhaps insecurity. Not feeling as if he is the right leader for his people.
And again, later in the parahsa, Miriam and Aaron, siblings of Moshe, also complain, this time about their brother and about the wife their brother married.
וַתְּדַבֵּר מִרְיָם וְאַהֲרֹן בְּמֹשֶׁה עַל־אֹדוֹת הָאִשָּׁה הַכֻּשִׁית אֲשֶׁר לָקָח כִּי־אִשָּׁה כֻשִׁית לָקָח. וַיֹּאמְרוּ הֲרַק אַךְ־בְּמֹשֶׁה דִּבֶּר יְהֹוָה הֲלֹא גַּם־בָּנוּ דִבֵּר וַיִּשְׁמַע יְהֹוָה
Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Cushite woman he had taken [into his household as his wife]: “He took a Cushite woman!” They said, “Has Adonai spoken only through Moses? Has [God] not spoken through us as well?” Adonai heard it. (Numbers 12:1-2)
Their complaint seems to be one driven by jealousy. Is Moshe more important than us? Has God only talked to him and not to us?
Each of these stories tell us about the source of the person’s complaint, fear, exhaustion, insecurity, jealousy. The people of Israel, Moshe himself, and Miriam and Aaron can’t fully embrace the blessings they have in their life because their fears, insecurities, jealousy, and exhaustion takes over them.
We can all relate to this, in one way or another. I can, for sure. Just this past week, I had an experience like that where I showed up to a meeting carrying some of these feelings (mostly exhaustion and insecurity) and from that place I responded complaining. As I reflected on the way I showed up and responded in a “kvetchy mode,” I thought about something I often talk about (including during most Friday night services) – the practice of gratitude. And with that, I usually share that for every time we kvetch, we should say thank you.
Practicing gratitude in a moment like this is perhaps the path to the teaching of Pirkei Avot. How can we rejoice in our lot? By honestly practicing gratitude, especially when it doesn’t come easily, especially when we are feeling jealous, afraid, insecure, angry, or tired. This is not easy, but it is worth it (and worth teaching our children too, from a young age!). It is how we live a more meaningful life, and it is how we relate to each other more meaningfully. It is how we become rich: not because of wealth, but because of a life well lived, a life where God’s presence is a constant.
May we all merit moments in our lives where we feel as if we are the richest person in the world, because we can rejoice with the blessings we have.
And as we do that, let’s remember that we share our blessings with others, loving our neighbor and doing our part to heal this broken world.
May this Shabbat bring renewal and blessings to all of you and your loved ones.
May we find strength, courage, and patience, and open our hearts with generosity.
May all those who are ill find healing. And may we have a joyful, sweet, and peaceful Shabbat.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rav Claudia