Dear TBZ Community,
It’s been a while since I have written my weekly Shabbat N’kabla and I am excited to be back! This fall marks four years writing these Shabbat messages, where I share some Torah and what is on my mind each week. I love being able to connect with so many of you through the words of Torah. As much as I write to inspire you to prepare for Shabbat, I have to tell you a secret: This writing has become a weekly practice for me to study, prepare, and find my grounding as we approach Shabbat. Thank you for reading and thank you for being part of my weekly writing practice.
Today I returned to TBZ, after a couple weeks away, and jumped right into preparations for the High Holidays. It was so wonderful that the first thing on my schedule was spiritual preparations: the first of three sessions of Selichot Sefaradiot, which we are offering together with Hadar Boston, led by Rabbi Ebn Leader and TBZ’s Artist-in-Residence Yoni Battat. (The next two sessions are September 7 and 14, 8am at TBZ. All are welcome.) When I lived in Jerusalem, specifically in Nachlaot, I would wake up every morning (around 4am) for selichot, at different synagogues. Sometimes I didn’t even need to wake up or leave my apartment (or even my bed), as I lived above a Persian synagogue and could hear the selichot services (and the shofar, of course) right from my living room. This morning I was transported, once again, to the experience of being woken up by the shofar and by the words of our liturgy.
One of the piyutim (liturgical poems) that is sung during selichot begins with the words:
בֶּן אָדָם, מַה לְּךָ נִרְדָּם
Ben Adam, ma lecha nirdam
“Son of Adam/Child of Adam (Human!), why are you asleep?”
The first stanza of the piyut reads:
בֶּן אָדָם, מַה לְּךָ נִרְדָּם, קוּם קְרָא בְּתַחֲנוּנִים
שְׁפךְ שִׂיחָה, דְּרשׁ סְלִיחָה, מֵאֲדון הָאֲדונִים
רְחַץ וּטְהַר, וְאַל תְּאַחַר, בְּטֶרֶם יָמִים פּונִים
וּמְהֵרָה, רוּץ לְעֶזְרָה, לִפְנֵי שׁוכֵן מְעונִים
וּמִפֶּשַׁע, וְגַם רֶשַׁע, בְּרַח וּפְחַד מֵאֲסונִים
אָנָּא שְׁעֵה, שִׁמְךָ יודְעֵי, יִשְׂרָאֵל נֶאֱמָנִים
לְךָ אֲדנָי הַצְּדָקָה. וְלָנוּ בּשֶׁת הַפָּנִים
You there, why are you still asleep?
Get up, cry out and beg,
Pour out words, ask for forgiveness from the Master of all
Your time is passing, don’t wait! Cleanse and purify yourself,
run quickly and ask for support from the One who dwells in Heaven.
Fear and flee from wrongdoing and evil – they are disastrous.
(To the One we say:)
Please respond to the loyal people of Israel who revere Your Name.
Justice, Adonai is on Your side.
We are left with shame.
This piyut (which has many different traditional tunes, you can listen to one here) speaks about waking up, standing up, not falling asleep, rushing to distance ourselves from wrongdoing and transgression, and asking God for mercy. I hear it also as a call to avoid falling into numbness in our existence and in the ways we live. A call to show up for forgiveness, show up without running away, show up without being indifferent to the world around us. Showing up as we prepare for – and move into – the New Year.
As we get closer to the end of the year, we also get closer to the end of the Torah cycle. This week’s Torah portion, parshat Ki Tavo, begins with instructions to the Israelites to express their gratitude to God for their bountiful harvests and freedom from slavery, by tithing ten percent of their crops for the Levite, the stranger, the orphan, and the widow. This instruction is then followed by a section of blessings and curses: The Israelites are told that if they obey God’s mitzvot (commandments) faithfully, they will receive every blessing imaginable. They are also told that if they do not fulfill their covenant with God, many curses will descend upon them. The parasha ends with Moses reminding the Israelites of the miracles they witnessed in the wilderness and commands them to observe the terms of the covenant so that they may succeed in all that they undertake.
This parasha feels like a roller coaster: blessing and curse, gratitude and despair, possibility and dead-end… The way that many of us (and I include myself) feel on any given day.
The opening of the parasha perhaps can help us hold this intense dichotomy. Moshe instructs the people of Israel of the ritual to bring the first fruits and declare their gratitude. The ritual includes recognizing the hardship of the journey in the desert and the arrival to the land of milk and honey.
Verses 26:7-11 read:
וַיּוֹצִאֵנוּ יְהֹוָה מִמִּצְרַיִם בְּיָד חֲזָקָה וּבִזְרֹעַ נְטוּיָה וּבְמֹרָא גָּדֹל וּבְאֹתוֹת וּבְמֹפְתִים
Adonai freed us from Egypt by a mighty hand, by an outstretched arm and awesome power, and by signs and portents,
וַיְבִאֵנוּ אֶל־הַמָּקוֹם הַזֶּה וַיִּתֶּן־לָנוּ אֶת־הָאָרֶץ הַזֹּאת אֶרֶץ זָבַת חָלָב וּדְבָשׁ
bringing us to this place and giving us this land, a land flowing with milk and honey.
וְעַתָּה הִנֵּה הֵבֵאתִי אֶת־רֵאשִׁית פְּרִי הָאֲדָמָה אֲשֶׁר־נָתַתָּה לִּי יְהֹוָה וְהִנַּחְתּוֹ לִפְנֵי יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ וְהִשְׁתַּחֲוִיתָ לִפְנֵי יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ
Wherefore I now bring the first fruits of the soil which You, Adonai, have given me.” You shall leave it before your God and bow low before your God.
וְשָׂמַחְתָּ בְכָל־הַטּוֹב אֲשֶׁר נָתַן־לְךָ יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ וּלְבֵיתֶךָ אַתָּה וְהַלֵּוִי וְהַגֵּר אֲשֶׁר בְּקִרְבֶּךָ
And you shall enjoy, together with the [family of the] Levite and the stranger in your midst, all the bounty that your God has bestowed upon you and your household.
What is perhaps most powerful is that Moshe is instructing them on this while they are STILL in the desert. While still in the thick of the despair and the hardship of the journey, the people of Israel are told, you will arrive to a place and there will be blessing; at that moment you will recognize the hardship but you will enjoy the blessings.
I can imagine Moshe Rabeinu trying to hold onto hope and trying to support his community by saying, “It is going to be ok, I know it is hard now. I know it is hard to see blessings while walking in a desert and not knowing how much longer you will walk, and I know at moments it seems impossible, but you will arrive, and there will be fruit and flowing milk and honey.”
Moshe walks his people like the shepherd he is, with compassion and reassurance. But he also reminds his people that when they arrive they must recognize the blessings they have, and they must care for the most needy and vulnerable. Blessing can not come without responsibility.
Being awake and hearing the call of the shofar for teshuva (repentance) and forgiveness perhaps means we must be awake enough to hold both the hardship and the gratitude, the blessing and the curse, the desperation and the hope, the pain and the love, the wrongdoing and the possibility of change. The shofar and the month of Elul are a time to attune ourselves both to what is within our deep soul and outside in the world that surrounds us. The selichot liturgy is an invitation to crack open our hearts and lift up our voice to remind ourselves to stay awake, that forgiveness and change is possible, and to open ourselves to receive God’s mercy and compassion.
I want to hold Moshe’s pastoral care close. Moshe is saying to me: I know that many times you feel you are walking through the desert but know – do not forget, do not give up, do not fall asleep – that there is a land of milk and honey. And you will arrive. We will arrive. Perhaps by holding onto that hope, we can ride through the roller-coaster of life and enter the New Year awake.
May this Shabbat bring renewal and blessings to all of you and your loved ones.
May we find strength, courage, and patience, and open our hearts with generosity.
May all those who are ill find healing. And may we have a joyful, sweet, and peaceful Shabbat.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rav Claudia