Dear TBZ Community:
This week we begin the fourth book of the Torah, Bamidbar (Numbers). “Bamidbar” means “in the desert,” a fitting name as we will read about the journey of the people of Israel in the wilderness.
The timing of this Shabbat in relation to next week’s holiday of Shavuot (when we receive the Torah) always amazes me. They are always close to each other, making me wonder about the connection between Torah and the desert: why was Torah given in the wilderness? We could imagine the story being different. Perhaps the people of Israel first needed to arrive in the land of milk and honey to receive the gift of Torah, after the hard journey, after achievements and making the journey. But Torah is given in the midst of the hard journey and in the wilderness. There are different answers in rabbinic tradition to the question of why:
“Torah was given in the wilderness so that anyone who wants to accept the Torah can come and accept it” (Mekhilta de Rabbi Yishmael Ba-Hodesh 1).
“Why [was Torah given] in the wilderness of Sinai? Anyone who does not make oneself as open [hefker/ownerless] as the wilderness, is not able to acquire wisdom and Torah” (Bamidbar Rabbah 1:7).
This year, I want to propose an additional possibility. Torah is given to us in the wilderness because that is when we need it the most. The hard journey of the desert is one filled with a lack of hope, uncertainty, and questioning. God gives God’s people Torah in a time of unknown and questioning to hold them (us), inspire them (us), or perhaps challenge them (us) to not give up.
This is how I am approaching Shavuot this year. In times when we are walking in the desert, I am ready to receive Torah that can hold me in the journey, support me in these very challenging times.
Our tradition teaches that even before receiving the Torah, we accepted it with the words “na’aseh v’nishma”- we will do and we will hear. We receive the Torah with the understanding that our relationship with God and Torah is one of acceptance and action. In the story of Sinai, the Jewish people promise first to observe the laws of the Torah, and only afterward to study its laws. This statement has come to symbolize the Jewish commitment to Torah and mitzvot (commandments) as a path of Jewish living.
We learn from a teaching attributed to the Baal Shem Tov, the founder of Hasidism, the following:
There will be times when something will come your way
and you will be uncertain whether or not to pursue it.If you have studied Torah that day, however,
you will be able to determine your course of action from your learning.For this to occur,
you must sustain your connection to God.
Then, He will enable you to understand the connection
between your studies and your life.
(Translation of Tzava’at HaRivash #31 from “God in All Moments,” by Rabbis Or Rose & Ebn Leader, page 97)
The Baal Shem Tov says two things here. First he says that the practice of engaging with Torah will guide your decisions in life, and that in moments of uncertainty you will find through the practice of learning Torah the answers, guidance, and help you are seeking. Then he adds one more important thing to this teaching: that the practice of engaging with Torah must be guided by sustaining a relationship with the Source of Life. The practice of being in relationship with God and in the study of Torah combined is what can guide us through our daily life.
Torah is not a book, nor a scroll, that we celebrate once a year. Torah is a practice of deepening our relationship, daily, with the Divine presence in our lives so we can make decisions along the way, every day, both big and small. The commitment to learning and engaging with our Jewish texts is not just an intellectual one, it is one that calls us to a life of values and action. Torah manifests in our actions in the world.
Torah is given to us in the wilderness perhaps because that is when we need it the most. Torah comes to remind us that we do not walk alone. That we are committed to relationships, with the Divine, with other human beings, and with the world as a whole, and that we can access these relationships and teachings even or especially in the moments of wilderness when we feel most alone or uncertain.
Which reminds me of another teaching of this week’s parasha (Torah portion). Bamidbar also focuses on the census and the counting of the people in the desert; names and numbers fill the first chapters. In the midst of this chapter, four words caught my attention this week:
וְאֵלֶּה שְׁמוֹת הָאֲנָשִׁים אֲשֶׁר יַעַמְדוּ אִתְּכֶם לִרְאוּבֵן אֱלִיצוּר בֶּן־שְׁדֵיאוּר
These are the names of the men who shall stand with you, from Reuben, Elizur son of Shedeur (Numbers 1:5).
Asher ya’amdu it’chem: shall stand with you. In the midst of the wilderness, in the midst of uncertainty and through the journey of life, we stand with others. We don’t stand alone.
I continue to pray that we may have the audacity to build, to believe, to love, to forgive, to create, and to imagine a better world for all human beings and to live in ways that bring blessings to each of us.
And may Torah sustain us in the journey.
May this Shabbat bring blessings and consolation to all of you and your loved ones. May we find strength, courage, and patience, and open our hearts with generosity. May all those who are ill find healing.
And may the hostages soon be returned to their families and friends; may the Israeli and Palestinian peace workers in the land continue their sacred work and not be deterred or turn away from the vision of peace and dignity for all.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rav Claudia