Dear TBZ Community:
In this week’s Torah portion, Parshat Beha’alotcha, we read the well-known story of the people of Israel who complained bitterly to Moses as they wished they had meat to eat instead of manna. The Torah tells us that the people missed the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions, and garlic that they ate in Egypt. Often when we read this story, we say, a bit jokingly, that this is the nature of the Jewish people – to kvetch, to complain.
Although they are now free, after having been enslaved for generations, the hardships of the journey and its uncertainty drive the people to complain. Instead of being able to appreciate and focus on their newly achieved blessings, they complain about what they don’t have. That seems to be something we humans do. It is easier to complain about what isn’t than to appreciate what is. The practices of gratitude and mindfulness, which we encourage you to take at TBZ, are practices that help us to appreciate what is with more fullness.
Now, as the story continues, we know and notice that Moses is also exhausted. The complaints of the people bring him to a place of despair, of wanting to quit. He even says to God that he prefers to die than continue leading the people. We read in Numbers 11:14-15:
לֹא־אוּכַל אָנֹכִי לְבַדִּי לָשֵׂאת אֶת־כּל־הָעָם הַזֶּה כִּי כָבֵד מִמֶּנִּי
וְאִם־כָּכָה אַתְּ־עֹשֶׂה לִּי הרְגֵנִי נָא הָרֹג אִם־מָצָאתִי חֵן בְּעֵינֶיךָ וְאַל־אֶרְאֶה בְּרָעָתִי
I cannot carry all these people by myself, for it is too much for me.
If You would deal thus with me, kill me rather, I beg You, and let me see no more of my wretchedness!
The Italian commentator Sforno explains this verse, saying that what Moshe meant when saying he can’t carry this all alone was a plea for help:
לא אוכל אנכי לבדי. וצריך שתשתף עמי אחרים שיבטח העם הזה בהם
“You will have to provide me with assistants to enable me to carry this burden”
And Ohr HaChaim (Chaim ibn Attar, Moroccan commentator) explains:
אלא גילה דעתו ורצונו שאינו רוצה לישא לבד
Here Moses revealed his own wishes in the matter. He told God that his refusal to carry the load all by himself was not due to lack of good will to carry out God’s assignment but to his conviction that it was beyond his ability to do so.
Moses has the capacity not only to recognize his limitations but also to ask for the help that is needed in order to help him be the best possible leader for the people of Israel.
In this story, we can see two models of response when feeling despair: The people of Israel complain and can’t see the blessings of the moment and only see the darkness and all that is wrong. And Moses who recognizes the pain and understands that to move on one needs to find the support, in others, in community, and perhaps also within oneself.
The people of Israel’s response is a human response, one that we all feel at times. I know that for me this response has been very present for the past eight months and since October 7th.
Moses’ response is, perhaps, what we are asked to aspire to. Moses is also human, he also complains, he also despairs, but in his despair he asks for help, for support, and he recognizes that he can’t do it alone, he can’t be in this by himself. He knows he has to face the hardship of the moment not alone but with others.
Belonging to an intentional, spiritual, and religious community is very much about following the steps of Moses’ plea: creating opportunities and building connections help us walk through life, through darkness and light (and all that is in between), not alone. Community can help each and every one of us feel less lonely, less isolated, and part of something bigger, of a collective, especially when despair and hopelessness can feel so real in our lives.
I continue to pray that we may have the audacity to build, to believe, to love, to forgive, to create, and to imagine a better world for all human beings and to live in ways that bring blessings to each of us.
May this Shabbat bring blessings and consolation to all of you and your loved ones. May we find strength, courage, and patience, and open our hearts with generosity. May all those who are ill find healing.
And may the hostages soon be returned to their families and friends; may the Israeli and Palestinian peace workers in the land continue their sacred work and not be deterred or turn away from the vision of peace and dignity for all.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rav Claudia