Dear TBZ Community,
כָבֵד מִמְּךָ הַדָּבָר לֹא־תוּכַל עֲשֹׂהוּ לְבַדֶּךָ
For the task is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone (Exodus 18:18).
These words, from this week’s parasha (Torah portion), come as advice from Yitro, Moses’ father-in-law, when he sees Moses working tirelessly from morning to night, bearing the burden of leading and supporting the people of Israel.
“You cannot do it alone,” says Yitro to Moshe, the greatest prophet of our tradition!
Moses had been carrying this responsibility for a long time. From the start, he had to earn the trust of the people and convince them that God would liberate them. Again and again, he went head-to-head with Pharaoh. Even after the people crossed the Red Sea, they struggled to trust and, at times, Moses himself struggled to trust. The despair of the journey made it difficult to see the way forward. Fear and uncertainty about what they faced kept them from trusting and hoping for the future.
This sentiment may feel familiar to many of us today. We are surrounded by news of yet another crisis, another devastating event that impacts us personally or, more often, affects the most vulnerable in our communities. Many of us may be feeling the weight of crisis fatigue—a term used to describe the exhaustion and burnout that comes from chronic stress and constant upheaval.
Though Moses might not have known it at the time, he too was on the brink of experiencing crisis fatigue. But Yitro sees it, and he offers Moses this vital advice when he observes Moses trying to handle it all alone:
וַיַּרְא חֹתֵן מֹשֶׁה אֵת כׇּל־אֲשֶׁר־הוּא עֹשֶׂה לָעָם וַיֹּאמֶר מָה־הַדָּבָר הַזֶּה אֲשֶׁר אַתָּה עֹשֶׂה לָעָם מַדּוּעַ אַתָּה יוֹשֵׁב לְבַדֶּךָ וְכׇל־הָעָם נִצָּב עָלֶיךָ מִן־בֹּקֶר עַד־עָרֶב
When Moses’ father-in-law saw all that he was doing for the people, he said, “What is this thing that you are doing for the people? Why do you sit alone, while all the people stand about you from morning until evening?” (Exodus 18:14)
And Yitro, understanding the weight of the journey Moses has already traveled and the challenges ahead, teaches him:
וַיֹּאמֶר חֹתֵן מֹשֶׁה אֵלָיו לֹא־טוֹב הַדָּבָר אֲשֶׁר אַתָּה עֹשֶׂה
But Moses’ father-in-law said to him, “The thing you are doing is not good.
נָבֹל תִּבֹּל גַּם־אַתָּה גַּם־הָעָם הַזֶּה אֲשֶׁר עִמָּךְ כִּי־כָבֵד מִמְּךָ הַדָּבָר לֹא־תוּכַל עֲשֹׂהוּ לְבַדֶּךָ
You will surely wear yourself out, and these people as well. For the task is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone.” (Exodus 18:17-18)
The Hebrew words used here, נָבֹל תִּבֹּל (“you will wear yourself out”), are striking because they echo a verse from Isaiah 34:4:
וְנָמַקּוּ כּל־צְבָא הַשָּׁמַיִם וְנָגֹלּוּ כַסֵּפֶר הַשָּׁמָיִם וְכׇל־צְבָאָם יִבּוֹל כִּנְבֹל עָלֶה מִגֶּפֶן וּכְנֹבֶלֶת מִתְּאֵנָה
All the host of heaven shall molder. The heavens shall be rolled up like a scroll, and all their host shall wither like a leaf withering on the vine, or shriveled fruit on a fig tree.
This image of withering—a leaf or a fruit that is still connected to the vine or tree but is drying up—captures the feeling of exhaustion and fatigue. Yitro sees this potential weariness in Moses and offers perhaps the greatest leadership lesson: You cannot do it alone. Even when we continue to receive sustenance, we may still experience a kind of spiritual or emotional withering. But connection—to each other, to community—is the key to thriving.
What is most poignant about Yitro’s advice is its timing. This very Torah portion that tells of the divine revelation at Sinai, the giving of the Torah, and the Ten Commandments, also holds the lesson: You cannot do it alone.
This idea of not being alone is woven throughout the Torah, from the very beginning. When the first human is created, God says: לֹא־טוֹב הֱיוֹת הָאָדָם לְבַדּוֹ
– “It is not good for Adam to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). While this verse is typically read in the context of Adam’s need for a partner, the deeper message is one of partnership and connection between human beings. We need one another.
In the words of Rabbi Sharon Brous, in her book The Amen Effect:
“One of the wonderful things the way the Torah tells the story of creation is the inclusion of God’s humble self-assessment at the end of each day. To each of these magnificent creations, God says, “It’s good.” Finally, to human beings, the pinnacle of creation, God says, “It’s really good” (Genesis 1:31). In the space of six days the world has been transformed from chaos and emptiness to order and goodness.
The notable break in the pattern comes only on the sixth day: “It’s not good for a person to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). And in the complex narrative arc that unfolds over the next many generations – through fratricide and deception, enslavement and war– there’s only one other thing in all the five books of Moses that is explicitly rendered not good. As the Israelites journey across the desert, Moses is rebuked by his father-in-law, Yitro, for taking too much of the burden of leadership upon himself. “It is not good, what you’re doing,” Yitro says. “You can’t do it alone” (Exodus 18:17-18). This is astonishing: the only thing the Torah identifies as fundamentally not good is aloneness, Twice (pages 34-35).
So, my message this Shabbat is simple: We cannot do it alone. We do it together. We do it in community. We walk this walk, this strenuous journey, with one another. When we feel the weight of this time, when we feel the chill of winter, when we feel the fears for ourselves and our children, when we feel ourselves withering and shriveling, we have each other. We are sustained by our connection to one another—by the vine and the fig tree. We are a community. We show up for each other, we show up for ourselves and we do so together. This is how we can show up for the most vulnerable, and in doing so, we can find trust and hope for the future that we envision.
May this Shabbat bring us peace, strength, and clarity. May we find the courage to forgive, heal, and move forward together, knowing that we do not walk this journey alone.
May God grant blessing and comfort to all of us and our loved ones. May we discover strength, courage, and patience, and open our hearts generously. May those who are ill find healing.
May all the hostages soon return to their families and friends; may peace prevail, and may our leaders prioritize life. May those working for peace be granted strength and courage to continue their sacred work, and may we soon witness peace and dignity for all.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rav Claudia